I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
