that's an acceptable place to lick
Quick, to the slutcave!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize