I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
