is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
