she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
