Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
