Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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