1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
why is half of my head shaved?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
