I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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