I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
