hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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