Christians are straight up FREAKS
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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