So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
She is in my trunk
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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