No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
