I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
