"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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