He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it's like iHOP with fire
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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