It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
