When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
