The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
