Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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