She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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