Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
