Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize