oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
