Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
