Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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