Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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