Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
