Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
