dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
