he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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