would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
