So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
