At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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