Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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