so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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