She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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