Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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