i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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