You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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