Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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