Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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