if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
