you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
