i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
