i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
