I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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