I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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