maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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