And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
